Monday 27 May 2013

Honesty


This is quite a hard blog to write as I am going to try and confess to you all what is going on. as you can see from the picture above I had a completely off plan session. I had three beers too (unusual for me as I rarely drink). I was on plan all day until the afternoon when the little devil on my shoulder won out.

I'd like to say that this is a one off but this has become a common occurrence recently. Yes I have lost weight three weeks on the trot but with the exception of one of those weeks I have not managed an entire week on plan. 

I have gone back into old habits...secret eating when no one knows something I haven't admitted to my closet friends or Rich. I do not know why I am doing this either. It coincided with me taking my new job which I am miserable in but I cannot use that as an excuse.  I manage two meals on plan then a wave of tiredness/CBA's and I push the self destruct button and get the junk food. We don't even have it in the house instead I go out and buy it. It would have taken me less time and effort to go and cook something but the devil takes over. It is an addiction and something that some of you will understand. The need for the bad food overwhelms you and when your weak you cannot say no. My depression also rears its ugly head and before I know it I am wrecking another week. I know I need a break too so my Mitchycation cannot come soon enough!

I can say to you all I won't let this happen again I will draw a line but deep down I know that I will. I am human I am open to failures. I know I need to do this though and I have come too far to although myself to go back to where I was. So I'm calling out for help from you all. More than ever I need my support network and they are unmoving in their support. It's like a big hug from them all. I am going to take their advice and take one meal at a time one day at a time. Weigh in this week won't be pretty I'm sure but I need to face the scales and go back to being on the purple bus as a regular person.

So that's it from me for now....I will be back later to fill you in on the day xoxo

2 comments:

  1. Karen I could have written that myself and I am someone who understands that uncontrollable need/urge/compulsion. I can't offer any wise words of wisdom but just some support from a similar soul.

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    1. thanks nicki the support is invaluable x

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